Blech blech blech blech blech!!!!

I. Feel. Like. Crud.

Upset stomach, but that seems to have calmed down, and my mood is just in the toilet because I'm so scared I won't be able to come back to Aquinas. I will seriously have a nervous breakdown if I have to resume living at home full-time. ;_; Lonely as all get out because I just don't feel like anyone gets what it feels like to be me. I wouldn't chose it if I had the option. <_< I just want the school year to be over, but I do NOT want to go home to Illinois. I just wish I could live up here on campus and just keep swiping into Wege (I probably still have enough meals left to do it, too! =-P ) This time when I go home, Dad may well not be around often, if at all, to keep Mom at bay. She refuses to get her depression treated, or to even talk about it or admit to having it. She's convinced we all are the problem and if we would just cooperate and be productive and do this, that, whatever, then everything would be perfect, and any sane person could tell her that isn't true. I still feel like I'm being regarded as an adult only when it means that one of my parents doesn't have to do something anymore. Grrr...

I just want to curl up into fetal positon on my bed (pretend for a moment that would be physically possible for me without excruciating {sp?} pain...) and sob my little eyes out, but that wouldn't help any. I'm 20 years old---crying isn't going to convince my parents to let me stay here. Crying's not natural for me either. (Then again, neither is dreaming, and I'm doing that alot lately because the freaking pills are causing me to have more REM cycles than I've ever had before while sleeping. I'm not sleeping as deep as I did, so I feel rotten in the mornings.)

Stupid printer's still broke. An RTA fiddled with it for almost an hour. Got the cartages moving again, but now the computer thinks it's done printing a document when it hasn't at all. Grrr...

Softball game tomarrow. Not really up to it, but since I'm already missing Sunday for a Band rehersal, I feel I should be at this one. Not like I'm going to hit anything. <_<

Well, my focus is shot, so that's the end of this entry.

Guten Nacht!